


i'm fine. just go away

by seonghwazz



Series: Seongjoong :) [1]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Hearing Voices, How Do I Tag, Light Angst, M/M, Weight Issues, hongjoong offers to help seonghwa, kpop industry, seonghwa doesn't want help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-02-23 03:34:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23605006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seonghwazz/pseuds/seonghwazz
Summary: “i swear, hongjoong. just leave me alone.”“okay then hwa. don’t forget that i’m just a few doors down.”
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Series: Seongjoong :) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1837693
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66





	i'm fine. just go away

“i swear, hongjoong. just leave me alone.”

“okay then hwa. don’t forget that i’m just a few doors down.”

seonghwa listened attentively to hongjoong’s footsteps. hongjoong was padding softly down the hall, away from seonghwa.

part of him felt wrong for sending him away, but part of him was glad to see the back of him.

“he’s just here to ruin you! don’t listen to him, seonghwa”, a voice hissed in his mind.

nobody would actually genuinely care for him. all of his atiny would move on from ateez sooner or later, and make their mark on this world.

nobody would ever love seonghwa. he was just another idol in the industry. sure, atinys always said that they wanted to date him, but wouldn’t they all move on sometime?

seonghwa thought that he had previously reached his life’s lowest point, a certain period of time during his trainee days.

_“seonghwa, you’re getting kind of fat these days.”_

_seonghwa had looked down at this stomach, which looked the same as it had been two months ago._

_“try dieting more.”_

_seonghwa wanted to scream at his manager. he was dieting, for fucks sake. he had been dieting for two years now. he worked out every single day._

_he had returned to the dorms that night with a scale and carb shakes. hongjoong had concern and worry laced in is eyes as he eyed his purchases, but he said nothing._

_for dinner that night, seonghwa had a shake. that was it._

_the cycle repeated itself for a good month:_

_he would get up, go to the studio to train, get criticised by his manager, cry in the bathroom, work out, cry some more, and go home._

_while everyone else had chicken breast and lettuce, seonghwa had a protein shake._

_every single time hongjoong asked if he was hungry, he would just say that he had eaten already._

_it wasn’t until one faithful day in the practice room did hongjoong understand the true depth of the situation._

_normally, their manager sent everyone but seonghwa away after a day of training, in order to make the eldest feel better. spare the shame, you know?_

_but today, he kept hongjoong in the practice room._

_seonghwa felt his heart rate increase. was hongjoong here to get scolded too because he was the leader? was their manager thinking that hongjoong was the one who was letting him “slack off”?_

_“look”, their manager had said, gesturing to hongjoong. “this is the perfect body that you should aspire to become, seonghwa.”_

_oh. so this was why hongjoong was told to stay. just to get compared with him. he could feel the tears stinging in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. not with hongjoong and their manager in the room; the latter would just call him weak._

_hongjoong had blushed a little when their manager told him to take his shirt off, but complied nonetheless. he removed his sweat-soaked t-shirt, revealing his toned abs underneath._

_the shirt curled into a ball, just like seonghwa’s hopes that hongjoong had given up on his daily gym routine._

_“take off your shirt, seonghwa.”_

_he hesitated for a second, but when hongjoong gave him a warm smile, he couldn’t resist anymore._

_with shaky hands( from lack of food and exhaustion), seonghwa had removed his shirt. his abs were barely visible, but his ribs were poking through his skin._

_seonghwa then proceeded to faint from the stress of it all._

_he woke up in a hospital room, and was severely scolded by the nutritionist. “you need to eat more, boy; you’re severely malnourished. balance your diet with exercise.”_

_he remembered how he had cried in hongjoong’s arms, sobbing his eyes out. “i just did what i was told to do”, he whispered._

_hongjoong gave him a squeeze. “look, hwa. i don’t know what manager-nim said, but please don’t take it personally. before you came, i was the subject to his daily criticism”, he said darkly._

_“but! i ate more, and just burned everything off at the gym. i swear, hwa, it’ll get better.”_

_he had slept better that night then he had for a whole month._

the last time he shut hongjoong out, everything had ended in a hospital room. maybe he should talk to him.

shutting people out isn’t the answer to everything.no, it’s _never_ the answer.

seonghwa felt himself roll gently off the bed, and pushed his bedroom door open. he walked down the hall, and knocked quietly on hongjoong's door.

“hongjoong? i need to talk to you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that you all enjoyed this tiny one-shot! Please leave me some feedback as I really want to improve my writing style. Thank you!


End file.
